It is now conceivable, within our lifetime, we will actually see a picture of the President's Johnson. Not the Presidents Johnson, Andrew or Lyndon. But the President's own Johnson. His willy. His wiener. His penis. The Mueller investigation has nude selfies. The investigation team has used extraordinary restraint and control of this information not to leak or release these to the press. I'm not sure how that is possible. The control measures must be extraordinary for nothing to have been leaked other than the fact that these nude selfies exist. These selfies are of such National Security importance that even information pertaining to their exact content has not been leaked. What else could they be? I guess it's possible that someone of great importance to the Administration met with some nefarious character and took a nude selfie. Our President has already met with the most nefarious character's representing world leadership... Putin, Kim Jong-Un...plenty of pictures exist of those encounters. Alas none of them nude. But did He or someone else in his Administration meet with the leader of an international crime syndicate and stop for a selfie? KAOS, SPECTRE, or even Dr. Evil holding Mr. Bigglesworth? Mr. Bigglesworth is nude in all of his selfies, but such is the life of a hairless cat.
Another theory that may restrict release of the selfies is that it's not the content of the pictures that is of National Security importance, it's the manner in which the pictures were obtained. This means they were either collected within intelligence channels and those collection methods would be compromised or they were obtained illegally. I think Snowden has forever changed the way we view sources and methods within our Country's intelligence circles. Nothing seems to be off limits and nothing would come as a shock that someone, somewhere, had access to the President's collection of dick pics. Selfie's typically mean cell phone. Does anyone believe the sources and methods to extract a picture from your cellphone, or the cloud behind your gallery of selfies, would actually now compromise National Security? Particularly during an investigation where a warrant could easily be obtained? Of course if the Russian's have the dick pics and we obtained the dick pics off of one of their internal servers that could compromise a lot. In this case, once again, the content wouldn't matter. If I were Russia and had compromising evidence on the President, and someone claimed to also have compromising evidence, I would start looking for a leak on my servers. It's not hard to connect the dots. That is, of course, unless a third party also had compromising pictures. That might throw some ambiguity into where and how the information was obtained. So just how many pictures of the President's Johnson are out there? I thought I had the only ones? Doubtful, right?
So perhaps sources and methods are also a ruse to obscure the content of the nude selfies. Who, what, when, where, and why? That's what inquiring minds will want to know. Where is the National Enquirer when you need them? Where is WikiLeaks in all of this? The Justice Department has now become paparazzi central. What with the text messages between FBI lovers Strzok and Page and now nude selfies? Since we are not talking about a motorboat, those Johnson pictures could fetch more on the open market than the $2M paid for a picture of baby Pax Thien of the Jolie-Pitt consortium.
What, however, does this say for our Country? Ever since the blue dress incident we've been preparing ourselves for a White House full of embarrassment and finally a Presidential Penis to make the front page of the Washington Post. We never saw Willy's willy. That's probably only because Bill Clinton didn't have a cell phone. Dick pics were not a thing in 1997. We did get explicit testimony that's on the record regarding what actually happened in the alcove behind the Oval Office. That testimony would make Stormy Daniels blush. And of course we know a lot about other President's who couldn't keep in in their pants. Thomas Jefferson springs immediately to mind, no pun intended. So does JFK. In our technological age how is it that we can forever keep the 1st Penis out of the history books. It's just a matter of time. And although we will gasp when revealed, no doubt smallish and with an orange hue, the image will quickly fade from our consciousnesses. If the Russian's are actually holding it as leverage over the President, again no pun intended, the quicker it is exposed (again), the sooner it will be impotent (ugh). So if 45 is listening...let's end any additional National Security intrigue. For the good of the Country, you have a camera, you have a Twitter account, let's get this over with...that said, you might want to sell it to your friends at the National Enquirer...could be worth more then $2M...
